Memory of Love
by Vampire Toy
Summary: Sakura’s determination wasn’t as strong as she’d thought, and she might’ve never joined in the Chuunin exams if it weren’t for the encouragement of the most unexpected person. (a follow up to ‘Lonely Sand’ and ‘Friendship Bracelet’) as requested XP GaaSak
1. Default Chapter

Memory of Love

By: Vampire Toy

PG 13 just in case

Disclaimer: Don't own ;;

Summary: Sakura's determination wasn't as strong as she'd thought, and she might've never joined in the Chuunin exams if it weren't for the 'encouragement' of the most unexpected person.

(a follow up to 'Lonely Sand' and 'Friendship Bracelet') as requested XP I did another follow up, this time its when Sakura's older, enjoy.

…

(I need a break)

Sakura sighed after the vigorous training she'd put herself through. She wandered from the field where she'd been training alone and flopped down under the shade of a tree.

Even though she was reluctant to join her teammates in the Chuunin exams, she thought she should at least give it a try. However, her mind wavered between fear and determination all too quickly for her to concentrate enough on exercise.

(Should I really go through with this? I might embarrass myself in front of everyone….in front of Sasuke-kun…..even HE'S told me I'm the weakest in the group…)

Her heart ached when she thought back to that morning when she'd asked if she could train with him.

'Your as bad as Naruto, why waste your time flirting when you should be practicing? Even his skills are better than yours!'

The few times he spoke to her it was always this way, no encouragement or kindness ever graced his lips for her.

She brushed back her bangs and wiped the sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand.

(No, you have to show him your stronger! You have to show him your stronger than he thinks you are!)

But she couldn't help wanting to curl into the shadows of the tree and disappear forever.

(I'll never get strong enough for the Chuunin exams before they start! I should have trained harder all this time; there's no way I can pass)

She pulled her knees up to her chest, folding her arms over them and resting her head on one side.

(Well, giving up is no option….) She sighed to herself and closed her eyes; her self-encouragement wasn't working, it only brought to mind more excuses for her not to join her two much stronger teammates.

Her inner self yelled at her and told her to think about something completely different, something….anything that would relax her.

(Just retrace the day!…..urg…today sucked……..Sasuke called you weak, some brat thinks your Naruto's girlfriend…..he also thinks you're a witch….and then there was that creepy Gaara and his team!)

Sakura shifted slightly, turning her head so she rest on the other side of her face now.

(He was so weird; I'm glad Sasuke-kun was there)

She frowned at recalling that Sasuke ended up protecting her again from the Sand team. He may not have seen it as protecting, but Sakura was sure that she wouldn't have been able to take on any of the vicious looking team herself.

(Ugh, NARUTO could've probably beaten them better than me)

Her face twisted angrily and her breathing became shaky.

(Don't cry now Sakura, it won't do you any good….)

One tear slid down her face and onto her arm and soon they came flooding from her eyes. She buried her head in her arms as her crying got louder and her shoulders began shaking as she hiccuped and gasped for air.

She flung herself back onto the tree when she felt she was choking on her sobbing and breathed in deeply only to end up coughing and shaking harder. She hugged herself and took long slow breathes to calm herself.

"No, no, no, I can't….:hic: I can't do this…..I'd never make it…." She murmured out loud as her crying finally died down, "I can't become a Chuunin when I'm so weak…."

"Would you shut up?"

Sakura froze; her crying abruptly cut off by the cold voice. She felt a figure hovering above her and her face turned red when she realized someone had been watching her self-pity. Her face slowly tilted to see who her on-looker had been and she nearly threw herself to the side when she saw it was the last person she wanted it to be; Gaara of the Desert.

"I…."

He looked down at her for a moment before his eyes left hers to study the rest of her body. Sakura made a disgusted face at his surveillance and hugged herself tighter.

"Yes, you….your hair is hard to forget."

(Is he talking about earlier today?)

Sakura decided if he could look her over then she could look him over as well, so she did. Her eyes scanned over him, pointing out his messy red hair and dark circles around his jade eyes.

(Hnn he looks familiar…. Well of course! I saw him earlier today….)

Sakura's mind still lingered in doubt, however, and her curiosity distracted her for a moment as her mind tried to recall something….something to do with Gaara, or maybe it had nothing to do with him? She couldn't be sure, but she knew he was somehow triggering a memory of some kind. Maybe of someone she used to be afraid of?

He bent down in front of her, looking her straight into the eyes once more with a fiercer intensity than he had the first time. The pink haired girl couldn't seem to look away from him as she sat dumbly, waiting for him to make his next move.

"You look confused."

(I am!)

"Hn….I suppose I am the only one who remembers. It's better that way, you've already gotten in my way once."

"Hey!" Sakura spoke up for the first time, slight annoyance in her voice, "I wasn't in your way! Your teammate was in OUR way!"

"……."

Sakura's heart began racing as Gaara's face contorted angrily.

(Way to go…who knows what he's like or what he'll do to you? He doesn't look like he has a patient temper)

"You must not know about me then either? So you forget me all together, that's fine, most others would do the same." He gave her a deranged smile making her press her back harder into the tree, as looking for an escape. He dropped to his knees and leaned foreword, enjoying the game she was setting up for him.

"Do I scare you?"

(What….is his problem! I….can't show weakness!)

"…you…..don't scare me…" she said, barely above a whisper, though she wasn't sure if he'd heard her seeing as her heart was loud enough to make anyone close by deaf.

His eyes held onto her for a moment longer as his smile faded and he placed both his hands on either side of her in the grass. Gaara's face looked down at her now, their foreheads almost touching he hung so close.

"Do you pity yourself?"

(Right now? Umm…a little…)

"Do you think your life is miserable and unfair?"

(….damn you….damn you, where the hell have I seen you before…..)

"Hnn, you've disproved even your own logic….it's some type of love that's made you this way." He muttered. She could feel his warm breath against her face as he spoke but his eyes were lost to her now, she couldn't tell if he was still looking at her or looking right through her.

(Love….? Like the symbol on his forehead!) She could clearly see the features of his face now and she narrowed her eyebrows as she studied his marking.

(If I take the marking away…..different clothing….)

"The way you said his name….that Sasuke….."

(…he's…..no……)

"You say it with love? Do you really think it's love?"

(…Gaara…..of the Sand…..of the…..Sand……sand….)

"You sounded very smart back there…..very professional, checking for our papers…but he doesn't care about anything you do does he?"

(He's being so hurtful dammit! It can't be him!)

"Are you HAPPY? Does he make you….happy? He's your friend isn't he?"

"Y-yes….Sasuke-kun….Naruto…they're my teammates and my friends."

"Are you sure they're your friends? You said….you're weaker than both of them, that upsets you doesn't it? Your never unhappy….when you have a friend…"

(NO!)

"Gaara!" she gasped as if only just then realizing it was him who was hovering above her.

"Gaara…." Her eyes widened and so did his. His more out of smugness and hers out of shock.

"You….you….."

"Yes?" he asked tauntingly.

"From…the Sand village…and…..my house…..when…. I……"

"Of course…I'm from the Sand Village….I stated so earlier today…" his voice was full of mocked ignorance and Sakura's heart snapped.

"It IS……and your…." (so…hateful….Gaara, that's your name…) she shut her eyes suddenly as she tried to recall her fuzzy memories from childhood. She never looked back on her younger years because of the pain the memories brought her and hoped that way she would be able to forget them completely, but somehow they'd always find her when she was alone…..now, however, when she needed them the most, she couldn't gather them.

"G….A…." she murmured out loud. Gaara gave, for the first time, a truly confused look as she seemed to spell out his name.

"…that's all I saw but…..it's G.. A.. A.. R.. A.. that's what you were going to spell….and your hair….your hair is…." She opened her eyes to find Gaara frozen in confusion, his eyes wide and burning into her own.

"Shut up." He muttered shakily.

"Your hair is…so messy that its silly." she murmured, her hand reaching up without hesitation and running her fingers through his hair lightly. Gaara shivered and yanked himself away form her, stumbling up.

"I'm going to kill you!"

Sakura was too dazed to completely hear him. She only looked up at him, her eyes traveling down his body to his feet, murmuring about how much taller he'd gotten.

"Shut up!" he snarled raising his hands as the cork of his gourd flew off spastically, letting the sand spill out.

"Was it? Was it you!" Sakura asked sitting up.

"No…"

"Yes! D-did….I mean….do you still have…."

"I don't understand what you're trying to say, but you're beginning to annoy me and if you don't shut up, I'll kill you."

(It…was him wasn't it? How many other people look like him?)

The sand was beginning to wrap around her legs and her waist. Sakura's fear finally registered with her brain as she watched the sand climb up her body, wrapping around her legs and squeezing them tightly.

She winced as the grains cut through her shorts and pierced into the skin of her upper thighs.

(Is he really going to kill me? Because I'm remembering? What's wrong with him…..what happened….?)

"Ahh!" Sakura tried to yank her leg away from the sand as it buried itself in her skin. Gaara's face twist into a childish expression of fear.

"You're hurting me! Stop it! Stop! What are you doing!" she cried as blood seeped in small amounts from the tiny incisions.

"Sakura…." He mumbled dropping his hand by his side, the sand falling with it. Sakura watched him shakily as she timidly reach to feel her right leg, the only leg he'd caused to bleed.

"Blood…" he murmured, surprising Sakura when she looked up to find him close again.

"You're…." He bent over, reaching down and running his fingers down her thigh as the blood clung to his hand making Sakura shudder.

"Bleeding…."

She wasn't sure what to say or do; afraid if she brought up anything else that he'd completely destroy her, but a sudden gust of sand and wind made her let out a small cry of surprise. She opened one eye when she thought the storm was over and blinked a few times, looking around but not seeing Gaara anywhere.

(No way)

"Could sand….)

Sakura stared off in front of her for what seemed to be forever as she thought over everything.

(It makes sense….now….everything….the sand, his eyes….)

She pushed herself up and brushed off some of the sand still clinging to her body. Her fingers traced lightly over the many tiny holes in the side of her pants and leg. It was easily covered and she had more shorts at home….

(The friendship bracelet! Does he have it?) She wiped the blood that clung to her fingers off on the other side of her pants; it wasn't as if she was going to wear them ever again.

(Oh come on Sakura, as if he'd really still be wearing that piece of crap)

Sakura paused for a moment as if expecting him to come back, but when he didn't, she turned and walked home, her confusion making her forget about the many tiny wounds she would have to tend to.

(Why…if that's really him….then why….is he like this? I know people change as they get older but….how so much? Did I change that much?)

The sky was dark now as she went into her home, tossing her sandals aside and looking through the medicine cabinet.

After refreshing herself with a shower and cleaning out her wounds she realized, to her relief, that the way the sand had cut into her skin made it hard to tell there was any would there unless it should start to bleed again, which was highly unlikely. They weren't too deep.

She didn't want her teammates to worry about her leg and Gaara attacking her when they should be training.

(Friends….if you have a friend, then your never unhappy…..I remember saying that to you Gaara….you remembered it too….so…it must have been you…it HAD to have been)

Suddenly she remembered that he'd given her a friendship bracelet of his own, a SAND friendship bracelet!

She grabbed the box she'd put it in from under her bed and opened the lid.

(It had fallen apart I remember, it was just sand when I put it in here…)

A small gasp escaped her lips when she saw the bracelet was in full form again and that it had broken the shot glass it had been placed in.

"It's because he's in the Hidden Leaf…..because he's close by…." She looked at the bracelet for a moment and tried to put it on but it was too small for her more adult wrist.

(Why would I wanna wear it anyway? It might try cut my hand off…) but Sakura's fascination grew and she ran to her dresser, taking out a ribbon and putting it through the loop of the bracelet. She held it out to look at it and gave a nod.

(It will do for now)

She placed it on her dresser top gently and yawned.

(Hnn….Gaara…..he's so creepy now…..I don't know if he scares me or intrigues me)

She sighed and flopped into bed.

(What a weird day…and Chuunin exams start tomorrow! Oh shit; I should've been in bed way earlier!)

She glanced out her window as she pulled the covers over her body and turned out the light.

(He's definitely gotten stronger, Gaara…..hnn he's here for the Chuunin exams…)

She closed her eyes and smiled.

(Maybe I'll see him there….I bet he wants his sand back)

…

Vampire Toy: ok, so it wasn't exactly IN the Chuunin exams quite yet (as requested by a reader), but I'll get there XP, I'll do one more chappie I guess, from Gaara's 3rd person POV. I'm sorry this one is such a wreck but I tried my best :( Whelp, these stories are probably just showing the romantic tention between the two at the moments we werent able to see :D fwah! I'm a freak, ok, well, its late and school is tomorrow, I hope this was ok, please R & R and flames welcome.


	2. Memory of Love prt2

Memory of Love

Chapter 2: Passion

By: Vampire Toy

Disclaimer: Me no own (sadness)

"Talking"

(Innermost thoughts)

:Sound effect:

XXX

The dark figure sat shaking on the rooftop of his hotel. The clouds loomed lazily in the sky, crossing the moon every now and then, almost completely darkening the village below. As the clouds left the moon yet again, the young man stood from his place on the ceiling to gaze over the city with an almost dazed look across his tan face. The wind ruffled his already messy red hair and his attention came back to the real world when some of the strands went into his dark ringed green eyes.

(Stupid girl)

He made an angry face and looked over the city again with more attentiveness. He hated the weakness he was feeling, worst part being he didn't know why he felt the way he did.

(So it must be HER fault!)

Gaara's face twisted maniacally as his eyes settled on her house. He'd been there only once before, a long time ago, but he had visited it many times in his mind. He muttered something under his breath and hopped down, walking calmly towards her home. Though everyone was sleeping, especially the young nins, he could never sleep, but he found it easier that way.

About mid way to her home, he stopped and gazing over the small house's overgrown bushes and dark windows. His face seemed monotone aside from an occasional twitch of his lower lip as he thought over how to proceed with whatever he wanted to do. He stood in thought for over ten minutes before promptly turning around and disappearing into his self-made sandstorm.

(Hnn, I can't…not now, I can't kill her now….they'll kick me out of the village, I won't be able to take the exam or go through with the mission…..feh, I'll never get Baki of my case…I'll never get father off my case….)

He paused at the last thought but shook his head out and slunk back into his hotel room. He slumped against a wall and stared out the window further across the room. The red head closed his eyes and thought over the interesting day he'd had….meeting his childhood 'friend' again and meeting her….. 'love'.

Gaara's eyes shot open and he grit his teeth as a pain shot through his heart.

(Forget the girl, she's useless, I'll kill that Uchiha….I will make these feelings go away….he's the strongest of the two so it must be him that's causing this)

He couldn't see how such a weak girl could be causing him so much pain, but he could easily link her to Sasuke, and Sasuke was by far the strongest of the two. Most likely the only one capable of causing such pain, after all, it had seemed Sasuke had broken down Sakura as well.

(Yes, she was hurt by him as well, so it must be him, hopefully the matches will make it easy for me…then I can kill him quickly) he paused and thought back to Sakura sitting in such a pathetic state under a tree and sobbing. Gaara clutched at his heart and muttered angrily, he caused so much pain, that Uchiha.

(I told her, love is useless….look what it has done to you Sakura!)

The sun slowly began rising and Gaara still sat motionless as thoughts flooded his mind. The golden rays slowly washed over the floor, but it seemed to take forever for the sun to reach Gaara and when it did, it promptly stopped. The sun had risen but it only shone so far into the room, leaving the red head to his dark corner. He almost laughed and stood up, disappearing into his sand, feeling no need to step into the light.

XXX

The halls were packed with teams as Gaara and his siblings made their way to the room where the first test for the Chuunin Exams would be held. The red head was silent throughout their walk, still a little annoyed that he had to leave his gourd outside. His two older siblings conversed quietly behind him, sometimes giving him nervous a look if someone got a little too close or almost bumped into him. Gaara ignored their looks and the mess of people around him, he wanted to see if the weak girl would show up, he was curious of whether or not she would start to cry again, if she did it would probably be the Uchiha's fault.

He waited patiently for all the worthless students to file in, keeping an eye out until he saw the bobbing pink head through the crowd. Actually, he didn't even need to see her hair; her blonde teammate's loudness was drawing his attention regardless.

"MY NAME IS UZUMAKI NARUTO! AND NONE OF YOU ARE GONNA BEAT ME!"

Gaara almost let out a snort but watched curiously as Sakura attacked him viciously, grabbing him in a chokehold.

"What are you blathering about!" she cried

"I'm telling the truth!" he whined trying to break free.

Gaara watched as the room became a pool of negative energy, a few growls and snarls here and there as the older nins glared at Naruto.

(Hnn, she's more violent than I thought….)

He looked at Sasuke and his face twisted in intrigue for about a second before he turned away, losing interest.

(I hope this crap starts soon)

He ignored the rest of the commotion, glancing over only once when a Sound nin attacked a blue haired man a little too close to Sakura. When he saw that the only one injured was the man he lost all interest once more.

Finally the teacher arrived and he announced the first part would be a written test. Everyone was given assigned seats and the teacher quickly went over the rules. Gaara's seat was a few behind Sakura's, enabling him to watch as the pink haired girl asked questions on behalf of her teammate.

(So, she's afraid he'll fail? She must be pretty confident in her own skills….so what was that whining yesterday Sakura?)

XXX

Gaara had kept himself from using Sakura as a cheat sheet, pondering something about how written tests must be her only strong point and it would be useless since she knew about his sand. When the test did finally end, Gaara listened to his sister yell at the teacher and asking what such a waste of time could have to do with the Chuunin Exams. Gaara almost let out a growl as the teacher went on explaining, playing one last trick before passing them all.

A female teacher burst through the window and they were escorted to a fenced up forest; 'The Forest of Death'. Gaara stood only a little ways away from Sakura and watched as she gaped at the dark passageway.

(What's to be afraid of? Death is inevitable)

XXX

The forest of death proved to be a boring 'challenge' for Gaara. He never got his chance to kill the Uchiha or Sakura and he grew annoyed at the menial threats that were supposed to test him. His only hopes were that he'd get a worth while match for the next part of the exam.

He looked around as everyone who had survived filed into the fighting area. He spotted his target's pink head once more swaying through the crowd. She caught his eye and gave a quick smirk before disappearing behind her Uchiha obsession. Gaara made an angry face and continued staring at the Uchiha's back, seemingly to look through him.

The teachers began speaking but Gaara blocked them out, glancing over to see if the Uchiha had moved but finding each time he was still blocking his view. Finally he saw the raven-haired boy move to the side enough for him to see Sakura peeking around to catch a glimpse as well. She gave an embarrassed smile when she saw he'd caught her and grabbed something from out of her shirt. He continued staring, mentally noting her hair length had changed. She fiddled a moment longer, disappearing behind Sasuke for a moment then stepping forward slightly to lightly wave something that was hanging around her neck on a red ribbon.

At first he wasn't sure what it was but soon he realized it was some of his own sand.

(What…..? Oh yes, I remember, I gave that to her didn't I? What's she showing it to me for? She want's me to take it back?)

Sakura put it back in her shirt, hiding it nicely as before and looked at him expectantly. Gaara was confused for a moment but realized she wanted him to show her HIS friendship bracelet.

(After her near-death experience yesterday THAT'S what she's concerned about? A stupid bracelet?)

Gaara turned away form her and saw her frown in the corner of his eye but didn't acknowledge her further.

(How did she hold onto that all these years? It should have fallen apart when I left…but….) He looked over at her, she was paying attention to the teachers now, (I suppose it's because I am here now…but it needs my will to become a solid object)

Gaara silently fumed at the thought that it might have been his subconscious wish to make it a bracelet.

(I don't care about her, I care for no one... it doesn't make any sense, it probably just reformed because of my presence)

The red haired insomniac stood deep in thought the rest of the time, only perking when the first match was announced.

(Let's see if her Uchiha can fight)

The red head's eyes narrowed as Sasuke took his place across from his opponent; he knew Uchihas were supposedly 'special' but he doubted that any skill Sasuke had would ever beat his own.

XXX

As he'd suspected, the fight wasn't too exciting. The Uchiha seemed to struggle, which meant he wasn't all as strong as he liked to act.

(What a waste of time)

Gaara inwardly complained about the lack of good competition. He couldn't help but notice, however, the amount of attention Sakura and Lee were giving each other, or perhaps it was just the attention Lee was giving Sakura. Nonetheless, Gaara didn't enjoy the prospect of someone else distracting his problem. He wanted to deal with her and he wanted her to realize it. With others in the way, it was difficult.

Gaara's attention perked when he heard Sakura's full name being announced along with a 'Yamaka Ino'. Her fight was next; he wanted to see this.

Her fight was much more interesting than the Uchiha's fight, he could see her determination in every movement she made; she had a strong will and a strong passion. Gaara's face remained frozen as he pondered to himself. What was her passion directed at? Where did she drink it from….this enormous determination of hers?

His eyes widened slightly as Sakura threw out her last punch, easily matching Ino's in a violent clash. Both girls were out cold.

A tie.

Too simple of a solution, there shouldn't be such a thing.

XXX

When Gaara's fight came, he had to admit he was surprised; Rock Lee, the one who was distracting this troublesome girl. He would have fun with this, he had decided. He swirled onto the floor, making a nice entrance for anyone watching. It was similar to a horror movie from the moment he stepped onto the floor. Gaara's aura radiated of death and destruction, and at first it seemed he would win… until this bushy-browed boy revealed his true speed.

By this time Sakura was back and alert, watching with a smile; her smile seemed to be directed at Lee, but when Gaara looked, she was clutching the bracelet again.

No, that smile was for him.

He would win this; he would show Sakura a grand spectacle, something she would not easily forget.

He made good on his silent promise; Sakura was horrified, a precious friend of hers was in critical condition now. Gaara couldn't help but let a smirk find his lips.

_Do you miss me still?_ He thought mockingly as he sat in a medical examination room; _what part of me do you recognize when you smile at me like that Sakura?_

XXX

To his undeniable surprise, she came to find him after the matches. Standing in his doorway, she looked unsure and nervous, clutching the pseudo-necklace she'd made of his sand. He stood by the door silently; it wasn't open but he could see her with his sand; it was always near her after all.

She lifted her small fist and knocked again. Gaara opened the door this time, but very slowly.

"Oh!" her voice went shrill in surprise and then she smiled sheepishly, "Good evening."

"Hnn."

"I…" she looked down at her tightly clenched fists and opened them hesitantly, "I have something of yours."

Gaara looked at the sand bracelet for a moment.

"You…you gave this to me a long time ago….I….." her voice cracked and he looked up to see her face contort painfully, "What you did to Lee…." She bit her lip, her gaze on the ground as her eyebrows furrowed apprehensively. He responded to her statement with a stoic smirk. She blinked in surprise but narrowed her eyes quickly, this time in anger.

"Listen….I don't know what happened in those years I didn't see you, but I can see you've obviously changed." Her voice grew more confident with each word and her chest seemed to rise and her chin seemed to lift as she braced herself for her next words, "Don't go picking on my friends because you think I'm too weak to mess with. You're not the only one who's changed. If you want to deal with me, then do that, don't take it out on others."

The redheaded killer watched her intently as she spoke; he saw the same passion and determination from her match, ebbing inside her as she defied him. It diffused from her body like the intoxicating heat of the desert in the early mornings.

How perfect.

"When you are a threat to me, then I will 'deal' with you." An order that slipped from his lips ever so quietly. She seemed infuriated by his words and clenched her fists tightly by her side.

"When you grow a spine, you know where to find me." she said slowly and shakily. She turned to leave but Gaara was not finished with her, his sand wrapped around her body in a tight grip and yanked her close to his face.

"Is it _love_ that makes you a fool?" he whispered with a sneer, "Is it that one emotion that makes you risk your _life_…" the sand squeezed tighter and Sakura yelped, "…to try protect your…. 'friends'….hmm?"

He was physically closer to her now, than he had been to anyone in a long time. So close he could feel her rage; it teased him and he smirked.

"You….you stay away from them….." she grunted and tried to wriggle free despite the pain of the grip she was in, "I don't know what happened to you Gaara! Something happened to change you, I know it…." Her face softened sadly, "Your full of hate…..like Sasuke." Gaara dropped her in response to being compared to the Uchiha he disliked so much.

"We're not alike." He stated coldly. She smiled, almost sarcastically, before pushing herself up weakly.

"No, you're right, your not like Sasuke, your more like me."

Gaara blinked, unsure of what she meant.

"No one will look at you and see what you really want them to see." With that, she promptly turned and walked away.

Gaara was more intrigued than ever.

XXX

A/N: Hehee, I said I'd do another chapter and here it is, sorry it took so long but I wanted to be accurate about times and matches so it took a little longer than I thought it would XD. Hmm, well, I could very well do more, seeing as the series obviously doesn't stop here, but unfortunately, I have no time and too many other stories to continue this. So here it ends. I hope you all enjoyed it R & R please, flames welcome.


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